Philly Police Are Greasing Poles With Crisco In Anticipation Of The Post Game Rage
Real life hilarious stuff straight out of The Onion or an episode of Always Sunny. And a futile act, at that. You think a little lard is gonna stop mass victory rages or defeat hangings? I think not. We saw the city of Philadelphia already give a warning it may not be able to guarantee the safety of local business after the game. But, hey, can’t knock their effort by sending out the #CriscoCops. Maybe the greased up lampposts would’ve benefited 10 years ago (wow) during the 2008 Phillies parade.
Ouch. I would say it should be civilized win or lose after the game, but I honestly don’t know. Not to mention people have been lined up outside the Linc since 5 am…for a 6:30 PM kickoff. That’s a 13.5 hour shift of boozing BEFORE the game even starts.
Coley said it best. Pray for us. All of us. It’s what Jesus probably would’ve wanted. Woof woof motherfuckers.